As we grow together

You and I also fall apart

We learn from our mistakes

But we cling to them as well.

We are what we haven’t done

And we’ve destroyed what we have.

We need each other

We destroy each other.

And in this destructive need we have

We discover who we are becoming.

We’ve yet to decide if these persons are good

Or perhaps if these persons are bad.

Maybe we have just become people.

People who depend on each other

To Love, to Hate.

To build each other

And destroy our progress.

We kill

We build

We protect

We love

And it repeats

Over and over.

We don’t mean our apologies

Meaning them would mean we would change.

We don’t change.

We remain bitter, we remain loving.

We follow our footsteps in tangled patterns

Tracing our misdeeds and good fortunes

We know not who we are becoming.

We just know we are.

----------------------------
Me talking now.

Okay...not really a poem..ish... I know we say hurtful things, but when we say them, we mean and don't mean them. Kind words are lost in feelings of despair, but we do not regret them while we wish that we did. We want to eat them away and say our love and goodnight...

But instead I know it is at least me that lays awake, unsure of what to say or do. Knowing that I am needy...but feeling that I am justified in being hurt. Feeling justified but hating myself, wondering if it's worth it to go on. Would it impact the world to lose me? I don't think it would. Humans have the natural ability to suppress...to move on...to love again. I don't die...because I wish to see progress in myself and the world...but when a teacher has failed to help a student, that teacher fails, and eventually, must fail that student and send them to another teacher. Am I the teacher, or am I the student?

Am I sorry or am I guilty? Am I just depressed?

I hurt another creature. The only creature that I've felt deserved my full trust. Yet at the same time this creature who deserved my trust did not accept the responsibility. Are we both to blame or is this just our nature? Do we hate each other? I think not. Being siblings, we never could. I could never give up my niisan, even if I were to refuse his speech for years and years. We love and we hurt each other. That is the relationship of brother and sister...we protect each other from the world, but eventually we destroy the very person we try to protect while still loving them.

I love my asshole brother because I am his bitchwhore sister.
I love my sweet niisan because I am his imouto-chan.

We love, We destroy.

I love you. Goodnight.